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stressed out

Stressed out

Last night, I could not sleep. I realized that I was very tense. I began wondering why I was so tense, and I realized that I had not felt relaxed in several weeks, at the very least. Maybe it’s been months. Or even years. Most nights lately I fall asleep pretty quickly from sheer utter exhaustion, but not last night.

As I lay there, I came to realize that I was seriously stressed out, and that every single thing in my life was stressing me out. I couldn’t think of one single thing to make myself relax. The more I thought about it, the more stressed out I became. After a few hours of tossing and turning, I did finally pass out, only to be woke up by the alarm a few minutes later.

I really need to relax.

back into the cage

I got the cage out of the garage and finshed setting it up a few minutes ago. It awaits Anton’s return from the vet tomorrow. The cage had a very short stay in the garage. I had emptied out an entire room for this cat, made it safe, so that he could not hurt himself. But it wasn’t enough. Last week, he fled past me and ran down the steps, faster than I could catch him, twice. Downstairs, he promptly decided to climb up on the furniture.

It’s funny, I don’t think I’ve seen him run that fast in years - certainly not down the stairs. Friday night, I noticed that the metal rod in his leg seemed to be sticking out slightly further than before. By Saturday morning, the area was swollen, by Saturday evening, it was the size of a small egg, and I drove him down to see his friends at the Tualatin Emergency clinic. They advised me to keep him still until I could take him to the vet on Monday.

Anton would not be still, however. He was more energized and crazed than i have seen him in years. As nasty as his leg looked, he acted like he felt much better with the rod sticking halfway out of his skin. He kept me awake over the weekend, banging on the door of his room, trying to open it. It didn’t matter to him that I was in the room with him - he wanted out!

Today is monday, and by this morning, the rod was sticking WAY out, and it looked like an EXTRA LARGE JUMBO egg was resting right below the skin. He still didn’t seem to particularly notice or care. I got him to the vet as they opened, and the doctor managed to squeeze him in this afternoon, and put the rod back in it proper place.

At work, my co-workers took up a collection to help pay for my cat’s surgery, which was a mean thing to do because it made me cry. Stupid nice people.

So Anton returns to the cage tomorrow.